Blogs.

These blogs are assigned to better our writing skills. Reading twenty or thirty about our first week of class, our jobs, our favorite pop star must get pretty repetitive though. What about what is really going on? What is underneath the skin of college students? That we are all just trying to succeed and be happy with our lives. That does not always happen. From a personal standpoint, I can not say that I am succeeding or am happy at all. I have done a dreadful job at being a good college student. Why? There are the typical, first year student excuses, of course. Once you have accepted that you aren't in high school anymore and realize you do not get another chance, what do you feel? I feel fear. Every day I fear the possibility of failing. I go through my daily motions of making myself get out of my bed and then fear sets in. Why do I have fear? I have fear because I have depression. Depression that does not go away just because I have a paper due or a math test that must be passed. To some, depression is illegitimate and a figment of a persons imagination. Depression is not something many people can understand. They say "you control your own happiness." What happens when you mentally and physically can not? When you, yourself often can not understand yourself. I feel as though many who come in contact with me at Highlands would never know, that I am just quite or shy. They may never know that I deal with this on a daily basis. I do not want this. I want to make friends with classmates and also confidants in my professors. I want to show someone else who has this problem, that they are not alone. Though I may be doing poorly in my classes, I would love to achieve making someone else feel not alone. I would love to make someone else feel a little less fear about life and instead be the sucessful, happy college student I believe everyone wants to be.