Sigh

I am genuinely I can not express how mentally discombobulated I am. Math and psychology are not currently playing in my favor. If today was not the last I would be able to attend the classes before spring break, I would have skipped them both. The later is such a waste because I do not learn anything in the hour I have to sit there. The professor talks for too much and too quickly for me to be able to keep up.
I am now to the point of wanting to cry and use fowl language to express my want, my need, to go home. I would much rather be in my bed with my precious, cat, Tucker. I keep reminding myself that eventually I will get to go home to him. This is the only thought that has kept me holding on to my sanity today.
If my boy friend were to read this he would tell me how "dramatic" I am; he does this often.

I am so very sorry that you have to read this blog, for it is only trash from a flustered mind. I will try my best to make my next blog as un-generic as possible.

In class blog

This picture depicts the cultural differences and similarities over time. There is evidence of the trends or customs that have evolved over time. For example, there is graffiti art on the walls of the building. This is a modernized art form that has became popular. 100 years ago this art form would be unheard of and likely nonexistent. The later example is the person in the colorful costume. This is a traditional form of attire used in so celebrations and rituals that have taken places for hundreds of year. Though the two examples contrast, they also compare. As previously stated, both examples are forms of art. Both examples are used to express emotions or events that have taken place. The two examples also are vibrant in color.

blog 5

I was genuinely at a loss for topics on this blog so, I decided I had to be generic and talk about my classes. My first class on Monday and Wednesdays is math. The subject that is the spawn of Satan. Thankfully, Mrs. Lee has subued this hostile relationship with her dry humor. Second, I have Literature with you, Mrs. Lindberg. My initial feeling about this class is relief. I finally have a literature teacher that I have faith in. In your class, I feel like what I have to say is important. I feel cared about as a student and a person. My last and most difficult class is psychology. This class is really important because psych is my major. So far, I have had a stressful time with this class. It is a lot of information in a small amount of time. On Tuesday and Thursday, I have history class. My professor is interesting to say the least. He teaches history in a way that I have never experienced before. A humorous and intelligent man, my professor lectures the entire class, entertains me. I am trying to stay on top of all of my classes but sometimes I believe I overestimated myself. I always have a ton of homework and when all of my tests seem to fall on the same day. Contray to all of the negative, I am excited for the rest of this semester and hope that it further entralls me as it continues.

Blogs.

These blogs are assigned to better our writing skills. Reading twenty or thirty about our first week of class, our jobs, our favorite pop star must get pretty repetitive though. What about what is really going on? What is underneath the skin of college students? That we are all just trying to succeed and be happy with our lives. That does not always happen. From a personal standpoint, I can not say that I am succeeding or am happy at all. I have done a dreadful job at being a good college student. Why? There are the typical, first year student excuses, of course. Once you have accepted that you aren't in high school anymore and realize you do not get another chance, what do you feel? I feel fear. Every day I fear the possibility of failing. I go through my daily motions of making myself get out of my bed and then fear sets in. Why do I have fear? I have fear because I have depression. Depression that does not go away just because I have a paper due or a math test that must be passed. To some, depression is illegitimate and a figment of a persons imagination. Depression is not something many people can understand. They say "you control your own happiness." What happens when you mentally and physically can not? When you, yourself often can not understand yourself. I feel as though many who come in contact with me at Highlands would never know, that I am just quite or shy. They may never know that I deal with this on a daily basis. I do not want this. I want to make friends with classmates and also confidants in my professors. I want to show someone else who has this problem, that they are not alone. Though I may be doing poorly in my classes, I would love to achieve making someone else feel not alone. I would love to make someone else feel a little less fear about life and instead be the sucessful, happy college student I believe everyone wants to be.